I am a Bridge
To say that I am a bridge . . .
I know you will not understand,
Unless you are one as well.
It is a unique position to be in.
It seems there are not many of us;
Or perhaps we are just quiet.
To say that I am a bridge . . .
You do not know what it costs,
Nor do I.
To be a bridge is to be thought of
As a weak link in a chain of generations.
But I do not feel weak.
To be a bridge is to provide a path
For my children to cross.
I will be a smooth bridge.
There will be no stones
Nor stumbling blocks in their way.
I will clear them all.
I will be an easy crossing.
This is what I can do for them.
To be a bridge is to be constantly estimating costs.
I estimate the costs of houses on either side.
I estimate the costs to myself,
To my children,
To my husband,
To our family unit.
And ought I to consider my ancestors?
Ought I to consider my grandchildren, not yet born?
Do I owe them?
Did my ancestors feel as if they owed me?
For how many generations must this debt be paid?
When will the balance show zero?
And how can I know?
Perhaps my whole life is to be spent as a bridge.
Perhaps I will never stop calculating,
Because there is no way to make the sums come out right.
But I will stop paying,
Right or wrong.
Why would I choose to be a bridge,
When I could be a house on one bank or the other?
Perhaps it is odd,
But right now this feels like my purpose.
Of course it is not easy to be a bridge.
Those who are houses on either bank
Do not understand.
Each thinks I should come to their side,
And be a house myself.
By this, I do not mean to say
That it is easy to be house,
No matter which side of the bridge you are on.
Sometimes in life there are no easy choices.
But only those who are bridges as well
Can understand why this is what I choose.
You see, I thought I had to be a house like them,
On one side or the other.
I thought that was my only option.
Then I realized:
If I choose to be a bridge,
No one may compel me to be otherwise.
You may discount bridges as mere passageways-
A place where one stays only a short time-
A place to cross,
Temporarily.
But there are times when a strong bridge is essential
To close a divide,
To provide safe passage.
And I am a strong bridge.