BYU’s Dress and Grooming Standards: A Tool for Fear

*This piece was by a current advertising student who chose to remain anonymous out of fear of retaliation from faculty

We all signed it. You may have been a minor, but you still signed it and now all of your credits are on the line. But those are not the only consequences when you don’t follow BYU’s dress and grooming standards with exactness. 

Advertising students in BYU’s AdLab are facing bigger consequences than lost credits, they could lose future career opportunities. The AdLab was placed in a probationary state where no one could apply for grants or use essential equipment. The big Sundance recruiting fair was also placed on hold. Claims were made by faculty that the disobedience of the students was deterring Latter-day Saint recruiters from attending Sundance at the end of the year. 

What did AdLab students do that requires such serious action from the university? 

The AdLab kids were told they were acting above the rules of the university. They were called disobedient and ungrateful because four men had hair past their ears, two guys had beards, and shoulders were seen. 

When the AdLab professors came down on the students this September, the students were blindsided. So much confusion and sadness filled the Lab. There was no ego but tears in every eye. The vulnerability and sadness was palpable as students shared their stories of how the honor code had personally hurt them. It became clear the program that we hold on our backs treats us as a means to an end, not worthy of compassion or respect. 

Some students in the AdLab and many others at BYU have stopped being completely obedient to the university’s dress and grooming standards. Not to say a big “fuck you” to the faculty and donors, but because we are humans just trying to be comfortable in our own skin. But BYU sees the students objecting to the dress code a little bit differently. By differently I mean they see these students in direct opposition to the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

For men, long hair, colored hair, and piercings are not allowed. For women, no more than one piercing, no “crazy” hair, nothing sleeveless, strapless, backless, revealing, or form-fitting. No shorts, skirts, or dresses above the knee. 

The honor code states, “Modest and cleanliness are important values that reflect personal dignity and integrity, through which students, staff, and faculty represent the principles and standards of the Church.” 

BYU’s definition of modesty implies anyone who does not comply with these rules lacks integrity and has very little personal dignity. I have heard this sentiment come from a professor's mouth and they told me I should go to a different school. 

Students who are not reflecting the “perfect” image of the Church should not be asked to leave like I was. They should be heard. BYU needs them just as much as we need their discounted tuition. The kids in the AdLab are talented and worthy. And more importantly to the university, they bring BYU donations and an improved reputation. If every forward thinker, every self-expressive student left this university, BYU would lose everything. In the real world, intelligence stems from open-minded thinking. Telling members of the Church to follow all the exact same rules for modesty instead of thinking deeply and looking inward is not exercising faith, it is exercising control over our bodies. 

Modesty is not about your neighbor or your professor or even your religion. It is about dressing how you are most comfortable and accepting that you will be perceived in a world where people take offense to bodies. The fault lies with those who choose to be offended. 

The honor code is used to scare students into obedience but college is supposed to be a period of personal growth with freedom of expression and thought. Telling students that how they look or dress directly defines their character is just wrong. Some things are more important than the dress and grooming standards. Most things are. For example, treating everyone with respect regardless of the situation or loving those who are different from you. 

I understand that rules are a big part of religious culture and life in general. Blanket statement rules can help keep people safe. But they can also promote a skewed view of others who have differing rules. Rules beget judgment when we use them to measure the good or bad in a person or a whole major. In the Church, breaking rules or commandments means you are sinning and some “sins'' cause severe judgment from other members. An “immodest” woman is labeled as promiscuous and worth less than a modest woman. 

I know we signed it. I will never be allowed to forget. Just don’t forget the covenant you made with God to love thy neighbor. Be glad you didn’t sign anything holding you to it. 

If you or anyone you know is planning on going to BYU, please hear this. You can be yourself, you can try to dress how you like or have opposing opinions. But when you do, you will be told to attend a different university. They will tell you to pack up and leave at the first sign of dissension, bullies and professors alike. Come here if you are ready to see hate disguised as “honor” and a dress code that doesn’t prove anything, certainly not integrity. Come here if you are ready to get on your knees. 

And to my professors and staff at BYU, I hope you can try and adopt a growth mindset. I hope you can grow with us. Believing in one absolute truth might be comforting but you are limiting yourself and the potential of your school. I cannot think of anything scarier than a religious institution that promotes close-mindedness. Out of close-mindedness grows fear and hate, exactly the opposite of what most faith-based organizations promote.

It is now October and all the boys in the AdLab have short hair. BYU cut it off to scare them into fitting their definition of righteousness. BYU wins and now all of the threats are gone. They used the dress and grooming standards to threaten and scare. It was never about honor. Lack of dress and grooming standards in the AdLab was never the problem. The problem is how the Church and university stand in direct opposition to personal growth and open-mindedness. 

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.