You’re Probably Racist

I’m mixed-race, but most people don’t see me as a person of color. Many people are surprised when I tell them that I’m Asian. They just think I’m White. Or they wonder if I’m “something,” but they don’t know what, and they don’t care enough to ask. Or my personal favorite: they think I look “exotic.” That’s not usually a compliment.

Growing up mixed and white-passing, I’ve witnessed micro-aggressions and internalized racism in an entirely different way. I’ve heard people say things that I am sure they would never say if there were another, more obvious BIPOC person there. “Mexicans just don’t work as hard.” “Black people really just aren’t as smart.” These are things I heard while working my on-campus BYU job. “Japan’s culture isn’t as good as America’s,” a student said in my discussion group in a political science class I took my freshman year. “Racism against Asians really isn't a thing;” “Systemic racism doesn’t exist;” “If there’s a Black Student Union there should be a White Student Union.” These statements are all parts of conversations I overheard while studying on campus, and they are just a few examples of the racist things that I have heard in my time at BYU. 

Now, ideally, BYU should be a safe space for people of color. They shouldn’t have to worry about dealing with these problems at the Lord’s university. As President Russell M. Nelson said, “The Lord loves diversity.” We’re a Christian university, and Christ loves everyone equally, so shouldn’t the student body exemplify Christlike behavior? But unfortunately, you’re probably just as likely to run into racism here as you are at other universities in the United States—maybe even more so.  

I know what you were thinking when you saw the title of this essay: “This is not for me. This is for other people. But I’m not like them. Because racism is bad. Racism is not Christlike. Racism is cruel. And I’m a good person. I don’t feel hate toward anyone because of their race.”

And it’s true. You’re not a bad person.

You would never push an elderly Chinese woman onto the subway. You may even speak Spanish. You probably taught a Mexican immigrant on your mission. You probably played games with all those little kids in the streets—those kids who don’t look like you. Those underprivileged kids in that third-world country. You might even have one or two Black friends. You’re not racist. Other people are.

Most people probably didn’t make it to this point in the essay because they think that I’m just some dramatic girl playing the victim—some liberal nut who is blowing this issue way out of proportion because most people aren’t racist, and racially-motivated shootings and hate crimes don’t happen that often, and half of the time they’re probably not even because of race. So if you’ve made it this far, let me just say that I’m proud of you.

You’re really not a bad person. But good people have flaws. Things they need to fix. And most of the time, people are open to fixing their flaws, working on themselves, becoming better people—that is, when their flaw is being a bad listener, or procrastinating their to-do list, or not being as generous as they could be. But internalized racism? That’s not them. That’s not you.

The thing is there aren’t just racist bad people and non-racist good people in the world. Think of racism as a spectrum. There are, of course, on one end of the spectrum, people who commit hate crimes, White supremacists and Neo-Nazis, and on the other side there are active antiracists. But there are all kinds of people in between with varying levels of internalized racism and racial superiority. And the fact of the matter is that there are a lot of students at BYU who are racist but don’t think they are racist, or they would never admit that they’re racist because racism is a bad, bad thing. Many people aren’t willing to look deep inside themselves and find the bits of internalized racism that stems from the environment they grew up in. That would make them feel guilty. And not very Christlike. And that’s a bad feeling. But those little bits of internalized racism, those little prejudices, those harmless jokes that weren’t meant to hurt anyone’s feelings—those are the reasons that racism is still plaguing our society so deeply. That’s how racism is passed on from generation to generation, and it is why people begin to think that it’s okay and that it’s not that serious of a problem. It’s not racism unless they meant it. Unless it was really harsh and targeted, a cruel act, aimed at someone with the intent to make them feel inferior because of the color of their skin or the shape of their eyes. That’s racism.

Here is an example of a racist idea that stems from growing up in a predominately White, privileged area: 

As a student or young adult living in 2023, you’ve most likely heard the arguments that Affirmative Action is wrong; that no one should be able to get into college just because of their race; that they should get in because they had good grades and worked hard, like we all had to. And they definitely shouldn’t get scholarships just because they’re not White. I listened to several BYU professors having this conversation openly just weeks ago on campus. These professors teach Asian languages and culture classes, and they were spitting out stereotypical and misogynistic ideas right in front of two Asian American young women who are students at their university and work for their department. They didn’t acknowledge either one of us, and they certainly didn’t hold their tongues for risk of offending us.

The truth is, you did work hard. You did get good grades. You absolutely deserve to be a student at a university like BYU. But just answer a few questions for me. Let’s take a little privilege quiz. Are both of your biological parents White? Did you drive a car to high school? Did your school have an honors program? Did your school have high ratings for standardized test scores? Were you able to pay to take AP tests? Did you have a tutor for the ACT/SAT? Did you go to a class or a camp to help you prepare for the ACT/SAT? Were you able to afford to take the ACT/SAT more than once? Were you able to afford music or sports lessons so you could have extracurricular activities to put on your college applications? Did you have to work part-time in high school, or did you have the time to be enrolled in multiple extracurricular activities and do all of your homework? Were you able to afford the high application fees for high-rated universities? Did your parents go to college? Is your family in a high tax bracket which makes you ineligible for financial aid like FAFSA?

Many White students, although hard-working and smart, are also privileged in many ways. They live in areas where they can go to schools that have more funding. They have access to resources that can help them get into college. They also didn’t have to deal with the added stress and heartbreak that comes from dealing with racism as they grew up. So yes, you did work hard. You are smart. But a minority kid that didn’t have your privilege could work just as hard and be just as smart and still have none of the opportunities that you did. Things like Affirmative Action, financial aid, and scholarships level the playing field. They do not put White people down. They do not make it harder for White kids. They help bring people of color up to the same level. These are just some of many issues that everyone needs to start caring about.

In a statement put out by BYU’s Committee of Race, Equity, and Belonging (a committee that was formed under the direction of former BYU president Kevin J. Worthen and which had newly inaugurated President C. Shane Reese as one of its founding members), it says, “Rooting out racism, healing its wounds, and building bridges of understanding is the responsibility of every member of the BYU community.” So let’s talk about your responsibility as a young White person to use your power to promote antiracism and help fix these problems.

You’re probably a little bit racist. It’s not your fault. You were taught racism, but now that you’re an adult, it is your responsibility to fix those internalized prejudiced sentiments that exist within you as a result of growing up in this society. See, if you are White, especially if you are a White male, you have more power in this unjust world. You are lucky enough to have the opportunity to be an advocate for change. Your voice is heard more often and more clearly. 

If you still don’t believe that racism really is that big of a problem at BYU, read through the report that the Committee of Race, Equity, and Belonging published in 2021. Its findings may surprise you. If you’re sick of BYU or the LDS Church having a bad reputation for being close-minded and ignorant, you can become a good representative of your community, religion, and school by being more actively antiracist. If you are looking for ways to be more like Jesus Christ, strive to be more antiracist. You don’t have to change the world—just be a little more mindful. Don’t ignore the problem because you think you don’t belong in the conversation. Fight against it. You can expose yourself to resources that will educate yourself and others about these issues, and you can share those resources. President Reese just urged us to have “the courage to stand alone.” Don’t be afraid to bring up the subject of racism. Talk about it, whether you’re at your class discussion table or you’re at your Thanksgiving dinner table. Enroll in classes that will expand your worldview, like Sociology of Race and Ethnicity, Current Social Problems, Multicultural America, and Survey of World Religions, all of which are taught at BYU. Start following pages on Instagram and TikTok like @checkyourprivilege, @byuantiracism, @theconsciouskid, or the amazing @blackmenaces, who raise awareness and educate the public right from BYU campus. Most importantly, you can speak up when you see racial injustice, and people will listen to you. As a White person, you have influence, and you can use it for good. This is what it means for a White person to be antiracist.