A Letter to BYU

I am a Christian. I was raised in a devout Latter-Day-Saint home. I was taught to love my Heavenly Father and to serve Him and my fellow man. I have dreams of serving a mission. I hope to find my eternal companion and raise children in the loving gospel of Jesus Christ. My relationship with my Heavenly Father has never been stronger, and I am eternally grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. 

I am a BYU student. I was born in a home that bleeds blue, and I decided to follow in the footsteps of my parents, grandparents, cousins, and siblings and go to BYU. I love attending sporting events. I love my on-campus job. I love the security and bubble that is Provo, Utah. 

I am also queer. From a young age, I sat on the cold metal folding chairs in Sunday School, sweating with the all too familiar guilt that accompanies the words “homosexuals” and “abominations.” I ended many meetings and classes by locking myself in the mothers’ room and pleading with my Heavenly Father to release me from the pain I experienced. 

I believe it is God’s plan for us all to know love and to be loved. To believe otherwise would be for me to think God has played some very cruel trick on me. I want to believe that BYU is a place where we can love one another, but time and time again I have been hurt by the university I love. 

I will continue to fight for myself and other queer Christians. We are not contradictions. The fight to overcome old-fashioned and homophobic teachings in the Church will likely never end. Although it is probable that I and other queer activists will never see the fruits of our labors, I will never forget that my sexuality makes me who I am. It influences the person I am today. I am a faithful and devout Latter-Day-Saint. I am a proud BYU Cougar. I am a queer child of God.