To the Lazy Learner

Dear doubting friend,

I understand you have concerns about the Church, including polygamy, the race and priesthood ban, and the treatment of our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters, but I’d love to explain to you how to navigate these things with faith. Hopefully, by writing this, I can reconcile these hard topics so they will no longer bother you like they once bothered me. You see, I have also had doubts about these things but have learned from great sources like FairMormon, the Come Back Podcast, and David Butler on Instagram as to why these concerns may not be as significant as we think. 

First, the church’s culture: remember, it’s us (the members) who create the culture, not the leaders. Our prophets and apostles have made it abundantly clear that we have a responsibility to create communities of belonging. Elder Holland reminded us in his general conference talk, “Songs Sung and Unsung,” that we are all members of a choir and every voice is needed. He and other leaders have always encouraged us to be welcoming and kind. Never once have they used the pulpit to insist that we commit friendly fire on our fellow LGBTQ+ saints. Ultimately, the doctrine of Christ should unite us together as one rather than divide us. And while I don’t actually know what that means, I do know that it is the only way to build Zion in preparation for the Lord’s Second Coming. 

Church leaders have never admonished us to judge one another based on appearance and especially not on sins. That’s why we invite our gay nephew and his boyfriend over for dinner every Sunday knowing the Spirit in our home keeps them connected to the gospel even if they diverge from the covenant path. We, as members, also would never take away their agency to marry, but we trust that our loving Heavenly Parents will all work that out in the afterlife as long as we all continue to make and keep covenants. This is just one example of how we can fellowship those lost sheep who may feel they don’t belong in the church; Of course they belong––Even if they can’t hold callings, maintain a temple recommend, get sealed, or keep their membership in the Church––and we have a responsibility of helping them see that by bringing them back into the fold.

I would highly recommend checking out the social media content from Ben Schilaty, Charlie Bird, and David Archuleta––before, of course, they decided to date and marry other men. They proved that gay people can stay in the Church and live a covenant-keeping life, even if they ended up leaving later on. We were especially sad to see David Archuleta be so negative and critical about the Church online (which is why we had to donate his albums to the DI) and yet still feel that his EFY album years show that it’s possible to be both a faithful Latter-day Saint and a gay person. We hope that more gay people will come forward and show that staying is always an option––that they simply have the same trial that our other unmarried brothers and sisters in the Church have. Their chance for a celestial marriage may come in the next life!

Another important thing to remember is the difference between policy, doctrine, and culture. All issues in the Church can be traced to culture, which the members create, not the doctrine. We can fix this by replacing the spirit of contention with the spirit of community. Next, all of the historical concerns that you may have about the Church can be traced to policy, which is always subject to change, unlike doctrine. Doctrine is eternal and unchanging! For instance, the priesthood ban was just policy, and leaders never taught that African Americans would be barred from the priesthood forever. We have a Black friend in our ward who is an incredible member of the Church and has talked with us about how he overcame his struggles with the priesthood ban. I’d be happy to give you his contact information from LDS Tools if you’d like to chat with him.

It’s especially important to remember that we must follow the prophet, even when he’s wrong. We should avoid criticizing a prophet or apostle even if it is true because it undermines their authority and makes it seem like they change policies at the demands of members. While we have the responsibility to set the culture, we also have a responsibility to support and sustain the prophet in all things––even if those things overrule our ability to change the culture. Prophets are not perfect, but they’ll never be wrong about the most important things, like gay people, the moon landing, interracial marriage, polygamy, civil rights, birth control, oral sex, and sister missionaries wearing pants. They speak for God; trusting in them is trusting in God. 

Therefore, it’s important to never advocate for change. Advocating for women to be ordained or for gay marriages to be accepted in the Church is not the path forward. Remember, Jesus was never an activist against religious leaders. Also, women already have priesthood power instilled within them through childbearing and endowments, and gay members will be made right after they pass! Remember, this life is microscopic in comparison to eternity, and “Thinking Celestial” helps us to have joy knowing that one day, all of these things will be explained to us. We just have to endure to the end.

I have an article I just read from Wayfare Magazine that I’ll send to you about wrestling with doubt. It’s very high-brow writing, and some concepts may go over your head, but it’s excellently written and might help you with these concerns. We are always happy to chat more about your struggles. Your questions are always welcome––even though there aren’t answers to any of them. Keep the faith and follow the prophet. Everything will work out in the end. 

With love,

Your Progressive Latter-day Saint friend